Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Continuing to adapt, a neverending process?

Today is a national holiday to celebrate those who were lost during the dictatorship during the late 70s-early 80s. I thought I´d take some time to catch up a bit on my blog and relax! something I´ve had a really hard time doing lately. I was most excited this morning that I didn´t have to get up and get on that stinking bus. I´m still sick, probably have some sort of sinus infection, but hope that it will go away with fluids and rest. Of course I wasn´t able to sleep in today, now that I´m on my early-rising schedule, and am spending another day tired (but a bit hyped-up on caffeine after two cafe con leches with the accompanying cookies, at my favorite tourist trap). It´s alright though. Sometimes I think when you are too well-rested all of the time, things get so cushy and comfortable that your perception gets mushy - kind of how I felt myself becoming these past few months of just hanging out in BA.

I´ve assigned for homework an article to my adult ESL students on how stress can actually be good for you, if you manage it productively. Even though I was seeking stress-free living these past months, I bought the article´s idea - after all, my stress-free living, as wonderful as it was to do whatever I wanted everyday, did not result in some sort of deeply fulfilling existence - which is a good thing because my resources were running out, which would have made living in my parents´basement a realistic option. Anyway, it was refreshing to hear some good things about stress since we are so concerned with how bad stress is for our health, worrying which can be stressful in itself.

These past weeks, however, I´ve had an enormous amount of stress starting my new job. The key is how to handle it. Being under the weather and incredibly rundown with very little energy has been my body´s way of telling me to let things go, to not obsess, to slow down, and to relax. I am forced to slow down; in my state I cannot force myself to think or move quickly. I got off my shuttle the other day and barely had enough energy to walk home! This is very frustrating, to have such little energy, especially when dealing with children. And yesterday, alone with the children, at the end of my English language activities, I had a fight break out in the classroom between two boys, right as the parents were all gathering outside of the door. I did all I could to try and stop it, but felt awful when I saw one of the boys so hurt, he wouldn´t look up or speak. I was haunted by my old boss, the master, who would´ve blamed me for this child´s pain due to my lack of classrom control. And when I dismissed the children and tried to explain to the parents of the battling participants what had happened (the climax was one of the boys kicking the other boy´s nose, really hard), I felt like I was speaking alien-ese, no one could understand what I was trying to say. Another reason that I have to learn Spanish, this seemed absolutely ridiculous that I could not communicate with the parents!

But I am taking all of this in stride and tryng to create a more balanced life. I´ve done it before when teaching (ok, so I typically have always become delirious after midnight when I´m on my 6am-rising schedule, but I´m not going to sacrifice weekends in order to avoid this), I know I can create this again here. And I had a lovely weekend in San Isidro, a town outside of the city. It was so nice to be by the river and along tree-lined sidewalks with charming family homes, clean and quiet neighborhoods, and a relaxed atmosphere. It feels like a different world in SI compared to BA. I never realize how much citylife is affecting me until I step out and remember what I´m missing. My friend and I inquired about a sailing course at a yacht club in the area, a beautiful place with a swimming pool and sprawling green grounds, something that is quite commonly found in the area and very affordable. A great place to spend part of the weekend for the next four months, just what I´ve been craving - fresh air, water, relaxation, peace and quiet; I hope it all works out! This would be a great way to work on my Spanish as well; I know a lot of the information already in English, learned years ago in the sailing culture of my family and Minneapolis, but this would enable me to rent a boat and sail all over S. America. Yikes, that´s kind of a scary thought, actually.

Anyway, continuing to meet more Argentines and getting to know previous acquaintances better. It´s a little embarassing when I see people that I haven´t seen in three months and my Spanish is probably worse than it was in December. I also feel like I lose 20 IQ points or more when I´m this tired, also frustrating. But I know I´m adaptable, people can get used to anything; it´s all a process. Paying attention to the process has been maybe the most interesting thing for me.

I guess that´s all for now.

Thanks for reading!

Chao.

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