observations

I´m here writing on my blog at the moment because I took a sick day. Still have what a friend from home would call walking pneumonia. Yesterday I had such little energy and the children see this and take advantage of the situation; a very hyperactive boy threw a pencil at a girl´s eye. I felt it best to stay home before someone ends up in the hospital.

Lately there has also been quite a bit of trouble between the farmers and the government. The government is killing the agricultural industry by increasing export taxes and taking one-third of the profits for their own use. I simply don´t understand how this country will be able to work - agriculture is Argentina´s main industry. From what people say, it sounds like things are getting worse everyday. Farmers have been on strike and blocking roads. The Easter holiday is coming up and people don´t know if the roads will be clear to get through to their vacation destinations. It´s possible that I could face a situation where I can´t get to work due to a roadblock. Crazy!

I´ve noticed that the caretakers and shop-owners in my neighborhood, mostly men, like to stand in their doorways and say hello to people as they go by. They often congregate together on the sidewalk and socialize. I´ve started to say hello to these people as I walk by and often see my building´s caretaker among them. I am realizing that this is what a true neighborhood is like, people say hello, talk to each other, and in a way look out for each other; you get the sense that people would notice if you didn´t walk by for a week and wonder where you are. I don´t think I´ve ever felt this way living anywhere else.

I have also noticed that some people ride their motorcycles on the sidewalk. I´ve had to get out of the way several times in order to not be plowed over. I´m not saying this happens all the time, everyday, but it happens.

Continuing to adapt, a neverending process?

Today is a national holiday to celebrate those who were lost during the dictatorship during the late 70s-early 80s. I thought I´d take some time to catch up a bit on my blog and relax! something I´ve had a really hard time doing lately. I was most excited this morning that I didn´t have to get up and get on that stinking bus. I´m still sick, probably have some sort of sinus infection, but hope that it will go away with fluids and rest. Of course I wasn´t able to sleep in today, now that I´m on my early-rising schedule, and am spending another day tired (but a bit hyped-up on caffeine after two cafe con leches with the accompanying cookies, at my favorite tourist trap). It´s alright though. Sometimes I think when you are too well-rested all of the time, things get so cushy and comfortable that your perception gets mushy - kind of how I felt myself becoming these past few months of just hanging out in BA.

I´ve assigned for homework an article to my adult ESL students on how stress can actually be good for you, if you manage it productively. Even though I was seeking stress-free living these past months, I bought the article´s idea - after all, my stress-free living, as wonderful as it was to do whatever I wanted everyday, did not result in some sort of deeply fulfilling existence - which is a good thing because my resources were running out, which would have made living in my parents´basement a realistic option. Anyway, it was refreshing to hear some good things about stress since we are so concerned with how bad stress is for our health, worrying which can be stressful in itself.

These past weeks, however, I´ve had an enormous amount of stress starting my new job. The key is how to handle it. Being under the weather and incredibly rundown with very little energy has been my body´s way of telling me to let things go, to not obsess, to slow down, and to relax. I am forced to slow down; in my state I cannot force myself to think or move quickly. I got off my shuttle the other day and barely had enough energy to walk home! This is very frustrating, to have such little energy, especially when dealing with children. And yesterday, alone with the children, at the end of my English language activities, I had a fight break out in the classroom between two boys, right as the parents were all gathering outside of the door. I did all I could to try and stop it, but felt awful when I saw one of the boys so hurt, he wouldn´t look up or speak. I was haunted by my old boss, the master, who would´ve blamed me for this child´s pain due to my lack of classrom control. And when I dismissed the children and tried to explain to the parents of the battling participants what had happened (the climax was one of the boys kicking the other boy´s nose, really hard), I felt like I was speaking alien-ese, no one could understand what I was trying to say. Another reason that I have to learn Spanish, this seemed absolutely ridiculous that I could not communicate with the parents!

But I am taking all of this in stride and tryng to create a more balanced life. I´ve done it before when teaching (ok, so I typically have always become delirious after midnight when I´m on my 6am-rising schedule, but I´m not going to sacrifice weekends in order to avoid this), I know I can create this again here. And I had a lovely weekend in San Isidro, a town outside of the city. It was so nice to be by the river and along tree-lined sidewalks with charming family homes, clean and quiet neighborhoods, and a relaxed atmosphere. It feels like a different world in SI compared to BA. I never realize how much citylife is affecting me until I step out and remember what I´m missing. My friend and I inquired about a sailing course at a yacht club in the area, a beautiful place with a swimming pool and sprawling green grounds, something that is quite commonly found in the area and very affordable. A great place to spend part of the weekend for the next four months, just what I´ve been craving - fresh air, water, relaxation, peace and quiet; I hope it all works out! This would be a great way to work on my Spanish as well; I know a lot of the information already in English, learned years ago in the sailing culture of my family and Minneapolis, but this would enable me to rent a boat and sail all over S. America. Yikes, that´s kind of a scary thought, actually.

Anyway, continuing to meet more Argentines and getting to know previous acquaintances better. It´s a little embarassing when I see people that I haven´t seen in three months and my Spanish is probably worse than it was in December. I also feel like I lose 20 IQ points or more when I´m this tired, also frustrating. But I know I´m adaptable, people can get used to anything; it´s all a process. Paying attention to the process has been maybe the most interesting thing for me.

I guess that´s all for now.

Thanks for reading!

Chao.

notes

1. Soccer is not a woman´s sport here. Girls do not play soccer in school or outside of school on teams. Yesterday when we got a soccer ball out for the children to play with in the courtyard, Guada´s daughter, also my student, started to cry, she wanted to play soccer and the boys wouldn´t let her. I asked, why can´t she just play? Guada explained that it´s different here than in the states, girls don´t play soccer in Argentina.

2. My morning shuttle busdriver doesn´t stop to let people off, he just slows down. Some people get let off on the highway. I have no idea where they go.

3. Must do something about the excessive nose-picking. I go home everday feeling like I have kid-boogers stuck to my clothes.

4. It´s the end of my third week of teaching and I have almost completely lost my voice. And have a small fever. Boogers.

More later.

a few more things

1. When the children leave the classroom, they perform the typical farewell kiss on the cheek with the teacher, meaning me. I would really rather not do this. Especially after they've just finished picking their nose for five minutes.

2. In Argentina, the teachers wear smocks/jumpers over their clothes. Mine is a lightweight dark denim with the school's emblem across the top left corner.

3. The afternoon shuttle driver keeps a small wastebasket by his seat into which he dumps his mate' refuse. There was a lot in there today.

4. I may complain about the toxic cleanser fumes that seem to burn my skin and eyes in the morning, but after hours and hours and who knows how many passengers, the bus really begins to reek by the afternoon - so I suppose I can understand why they have to scorch the interior with these poisons. I'd hate to think of what could be growing inside the seat cushions.

Trying to teach, learning a lot, and other things of note in my surreal Argentine life

A lot seems to have happened in the past two weeks and everyday when I come home from work I want to write about it, but usually only have enough energy to prepare for the next day, eat, and zone out to a movie I might find on cable. Plus my computer is on the fritz so it takes forever to type anything! Like now, for instance. So forgive me if this is choppy, but I am working with less than adequate materials.

I had forgotten just how exhausting teaching can be - everyday after work, after the adrenaline has faded, my entire body feels completely exhausted. I know from experience that it takes a while to get used to teaching-mode and I will build my stamina back up, but at the beginning it is hard. And the language has been hard. And the commute. And the toxic cleanser fumes on the commuter shuttle (I've begun opening a little window and gasping for air during my ride, even though that air is toxic highway exhaust! Perhaps I'll purchase a face mask). And in the classroom we are trying to figure out how to do elementary Montessori from primary training mixed with the aid of elementary Montessori teachers through emails and phone calls.

This week I've started with the art and drama workshops and the 45-minute English lessons at the end of the morning which have been nearly disastrous because it's been difficult coming up with lessons for children that hardly know English and only a few can read and write. This will get easier as time goes on, I have faith that it will, it has to. I need to figure out a way to make this portion of the day Montessori, rather than a traditional lesson. I will need to find new ways to constantly hook the interest of these energetic children bursting at the seams. This is definitely a different plane of development from primary.

I wanted to simply not think about school for most of the weekend and just have a break, but after an English pictionary game we played on Friday that turned into chanting, screaming, and pounding on the tables, I have been desperately searching for solutions.

Griselda, the other teacher, is hanging in there. I could tell by the end of the week she was a bit fed up - constantly being corrected by the director and receiving hesitant answers from me when asking if a material she prepared for class is okay. It is really hard to make someone get how to teach Montessori in just a couple of weeks without being able to explain it in a language they can understand. I just hope that things continue to improve and that Griselda doesn't lose faith in this project altogether. She seemed pretty unenthused during our class meeting on Friday, an important time for this age group because it gives them a chance to be heard, fostering justice and fairness in the classroom, essential for establishing peace. I also found out last week that at 25 she is married, has two kids, and is at her other job until 530pm each day.

Even with all the craziness and chaos, the children have learned a lot in the first two weeks. Right now we're discussing the solar system and doing related activities. Along with that is reading and writing and math. We have a volcano in the room that we made and they can watch it explode when adding sodium bicarbonate and distilled vinegar together, an experiment to go along with our discussion on how the earth was made. We get outside to play games when it's not completely muddy or raining (it's rained almost everyday for the past month, it seems) and out of the small, stuffy classroom (we have to keep the windows closed because the noise from street traffic bounces off the concrete walls and you can't hear anything). For the drama workshop, I had the children make animal masks and one boy, who seems to be a quiet genuis, made a bat mask and turned into a different person when he put it on, flying around and terrorizing all the children.

At the beginning of the week we had the official school commencement day and celebrated the opening of the first Montessori elementary classroom in Argentina. All of the parents came and since it was early, I slept in Lujan at Guadalupe's home and enjoyed a late-night chat and sandwiches with her and her husband and slept in her daughter's mickey mouse bed while the girls slept with their parents. Of course, this meant I got probably 4 hours of sleep, but I thought, this is all part of the experience I was seeking. This was after a weekend of going out both weekend nights, and on Saturday, since it was my Italian-American friend from Spanish class's last weekend night, I ended up staying out until 6am. I thought throughout the night, as a group of us sat and watched some crazy accordian players in a huge warehouse that had a giant toilet paper roll hanging from the ceiling, playing on a stage behind plastic netting, all coordinated by an orange umbrella-holding plastic hot-dog-throwing MC, that oh, yes, this is that old familiar out-of-body feeling brought on by complete teacher exhaustion (and perhaps the setting had something to do with this sensation). I hadn't felt that way in a long time, where I have absolutely no energy that I just float along, resistant-free. Of course when feeling like this it is essential that I am staying with safe people at safe places or this can be a hazard to my health - or maybe a sign that I need to go home. Oh well, I am still finding a balance, how to be able to teach and still live a life in BsAs. But when you show up tired to teach, the children find the little holes, tear into you, and eat you alive. Knowing this is enough to get me into bed on time.

Last night I went to a friend of a friend's birthday party at his parents' home outside of the city. We didn't get there until nearly 10pm and I was already getting that out-of-body feeling. I found the best thing to do was sit down and not move for the entire evening. This actually worked well and I spoke to people all night without a problem. Interestingly enough, the birthday boy's great-grandfather was an interim military president of Argentina some years back and two of his sisters are English teachers - one seemed rather bent on telling me all about the Montessori method; after telling her that I was trained and had some years of experience, she continued to explain.

I also learned some unsettling things about the beef industry here, why it is so cheap. The government will not let the ranchers export most of the beef and they are forced to sell it at cheap prices so that the people feel that it is a gift from the government, that all, poor and rich, should be able to eat the country's great beef. Well, this is forcing the ranchers to sell their cattle to ever-growing feedlots (rather than the traditional grass-fed) and some are killing their cattle because it is too expensive to raise them and not make any money. There is a preditction that the cattle industry will be wiiped out by 2011. This was all told to me by the parents', worried ranchers themselves.

All in all, it was a great party with great people; some were there from the river cruise on the Delta back in January, apparently they had no recollection of what a silent starer I was that day (not that I asked or anything); there were others that I had met at another birthday party back in December. And when asked about what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, etc., I explained that I really enjoy being able to live somewhere and work, to live like a local and gain a deeper understanding of another culture; like being invited to a friend's parents' home for a birthday party.

Well, it's a beautiful day out and I have my whole Sunday free to wander around town, enjoy a cafe con leche, and try not to obsess too much about my job (although I woke up with my head buzzing with ideas this morning!). Ahhhh. Free time is nice.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. In my ESL class on Friday we had a little stereotype discussion as a lead-in to a dictation about eastern European stereotypes, a letter wrtten in by a Pole to the Economist, and when I asked my students what sort of stereotypes they had of the U.S. they replied: Homer Simpson, he is the typical American.

bad luck, bad karma?

After my computer overheated and died yesterday and then my wallet was either stolen or fell out of my backpack this morning as I ran to my shuttle, I thought, I need to take out some of what I said in my last post, pronto.

Also, had first day of school with the students.

I should´ve paid more attention in Spanish class.